When You're Feeling Sick, Who Should You Tell?

I have learned over the years to respect whatever medical perspectives people subscribe to. If they need a strictly Western approach, that's fine with me. If they don't go to medical doctors, that's also okay. And if people seek only functional or complimentary medicine to deal with their ills, I am okay with that, too.

So when a friend or family member shares with me what they are going through, I basically listen and offer whatever support I can give. But I find when the shoe is on the other foot, it's often a different story.

I am often surprised how just the mention of herbs causes some individuals to break out in a cold sweat -- it's like saying you're an Obama fan to a Rush Limbaugh enthusiast. One would think World War III is about to break out!

When you're sick, you're often in a Catch 22 situation -- it's hard to keep things bottled up when people close to you are wondering what's going on. On the other hand when you spill the beans and share that you've been to the Emergency Room because you thought you were having a heart attack, a Pandora's Box can open and before you know it relatives are calling to tell you that ever since their triple bypass they've felt much better -- it's almost like they're wishing the same for you! Just what you want to hear when you're waiting for the results of your EKG!

On the other side of the equation, you've got the friend who never gets sick, who's always up with enough energy for an army. Everything happens for a reason, she'll say. This is a blessing in disguise. Yes, we know everything happens for a reason and yes, whatever happens is a blessing because we are alive and when we're breathing we are indeed blessed. How can you possibly let your hair down when the person across from you is really on planet Neptune and really doesn't want to hear about your pain? You're too much of a drag. Lift yourself up by your boot straps, for heaven's sake, and stop your whining.

If you're read this far, these words have probably struck a chord. But what to do?
There's no magical answer, but understanding that people who cannot hear you may indeed be running on fear -- if they run to the surgeon on a regular basis, the thought of you seeking out a natural cure may get their nose off kilter. If you do herbs instead of antibiotics, you are of course wrong and they're right. When you're ill, it's hard to sometimes think rationally -- words come so fast we don't have a chance to boomerang them back to the sender. They get into us and we feel injured. Even though people may think they mean well, what they're doing is protecting their own set of beliefs.

In a nutshell, it's a good idea to say as little as possible to those who think differently than you. Regard them the way you would someone of a different religion or political persuasion -- you know there's no winning and you're in no shape to start a conflagration. There are many on-line support groups and if you don't have any close friends or relatives who are empathetic to your plight, then paying someone to listen can be rewarding. There's nothing wrong with hiring a counselor to be your sounding board and if you want their perspective, it's because YOU asked.